There's a discussion that needs to take place, but how do I bring it up? What does Dennis want to see with our family after he's gone? He's always been a hard worker and now he has feelings of worthlessness. He still tries to help me, though the simplest tasks cause him to be exhausted. He's so apologetic about getting sick. He's realistic about what we are facing. He's searching his soul about whether to do the last two chemos. It seems he's afraid to talk about the distant future, that he's imposing on me by being sick. I will continue to assure him that I want to be here with him and for him. I'm in it for the long haul and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I want him to express his wishes about the future.

I've tried to do some research about signet ring cell linitis plastica. They tested samples of the tumors and told us it is not the genetic form of the disease. The good news is that our children don't have to worry about inheriting it or the associated lobular breast carcinoma. The bad news is that while the genetic form responds fairly well to treatment, the environmental form does not. It is very aggressive. It can cause many problems besides problems with eating and digestion. It can cause bowel blockage requiring surgery or radiation. It can stiffen and inflame the lining around the heart and cause cardiac tamponade. It can cross over into cerebral spinal fluid and affect the brain, causing Alzheimer's or stroke symptoms. Dennis' blood is so thin that it's crazy that he got a DVT. The oncologist said this was a complication from the cancer and no one can guess the next crisis we will face.

Approximately 25,000 people per year in the U.S. Get gastric cancer. About 2,500 get linitis plastica. Of those, 51% have the genetic form, so about 1,200 have the environmental form. Of those, most are Asian and most of those were born in an Asian country, with Japan and Korea having the highest incidence. Most of the victims are women. They don't know what causes it in a white male born in the U.S. He has traveled to Japan (no sushi in Japan), Brazil and Mexico.

We are blessed that Dennis has medical insurance and that they have been very good to us. July 1st we start all over with deductibles and out-of-pocket. Everything is so expensive. We are grateful for "Cowboys for Cancer". They sent us a financial grant that helped us get caught up to date with our medical bills.

I saw Sandy Owens at the grocery store. I truly believe she knows what I am going through, as we talked and cried together...only she's been going through this for over 4 1/2 years. I have much to learn from her.