David and my brother Larry came and gave Den and I blessings. I was promised beautiful things in my blessing…that angels would be with me to help me.  After surgery, D was allowed to heal for a while before starting chemo. Dr. Harker told us about two chemo regimen. One was EOX that involved IV chemo every three weeks and daily chemo pills, twice a day. His appointment was on Thursday and chemo started on Friday April 18th.

We had a nurse named Mary Lynn and she was fantastic. We were supposed to go to a cancer class and couldn’t, so she spent a couple of hours teaching us what we needed to know. One of the medications comes in the vials a crimson red and the first time D went to the restroom, he was a little shocked that he peed crimson red, but then remembered she had warned him. The chemo made him sick but also made his lips numb and whenever he was exposed to cold, it felt like shards of ice was stabbing him. He was told to drink 2 liters of fluid a day and to walk 30 minutes a day, even if that was only 10 minutes at a time. We ate at Five Guys with Aimee and Sara before driving home to Wyoming. It didn’t sit well on D’s stomach.  Chemo seemed to make him very nauseated and very tired. His kidneys hurt for several days. He slept from 9 to eleven hours at night and all but a few hours during the day. When he went on a walk with Justin, he felt the shards of ice on his forehead. His memory was also terrible right after chemo. I told him five or six times about what I had cooked him for lunch and it wasn’t until he was in the kitchen and saw the food that it made sense to his brain. He had no short term memory that first week after chemo. He is immunocompromised day 7 to 15 after chemo.

He was so sick the first week that he didn’t go to church and they brought in the sacrament to him. The next week he wore a mask to church, being careful to sit near the front so fewer people would touch the sacrament trays. The family behind us kept hacking and coughing and didn’t even try to cover their mouths and coughed toward him.

By the second week he was better but still didn’t feel like doing anything because of the nausea. By the third week, he was a lot better, but then it was time to start chemo again. He didn’t lose his hair until Tuesday or Wednesday, May 6/7 when he started to notice a lot of hair in the tub after his shower. By the third day, the hairball was huge and his head had bald patches, so we took clippers to his head and gave him a buzz. It was real strange to see him without all his dark hair, 60 and barely any gray hairs. I love his hair and like to run my fingers through it. Right before buzzing it, I ran my fingers through what was left and it didn’t bounce back like it normally would. It was like the hair shaft broke off in that direction when I ran my fingers through it. It was different seeing him without any hair and I couldn’t help but think about his resemblance to Yoda, especially when he wore his bright green shirt. Yes, he is the love of my life and yes, I love him dearly. But there is still humor in our home. He declined my offer to buy him a wig.

We have been overwhelmed by the love and support shown to us by so many people. We have enjoyed delicious home-made sweet rolls, home-made bread and jams. One dear sister brought us journals to write our experiences in. She had recently lost her husband and was given a journal by a friend and now she’s glad she has those to go back to. Another friend gave D a soft blanket for chemo.  He likes to wrap up in that blanket for the trip home.

D was asked to speak in stake conference about adversity. He wrote his talk before the 2nd chemo in case he couldn’t think well after it.

D has a hard time talking to so many people about what he is going through. He says the more he talks about it, the worse it is. He will talk to people up to a point and when he can’t handle any more, he won’t talk to anyone else.

For the third chemo, we got up early in the morning to be to chemo by 7:30 (weather was bad and we wanted time to spare) as his appointment was at 7:50. We had a new nurse. As she was hooking up his IV, I said that it really disturbed him peeing crimson red because he bleeds blue. She didn’t get it and with a shocked voice said, “Last time he peed blue”? I had to explain it and then she thought it was funny. He told her his son-in-law is crimson red and loves that he pees red.

After chemo, we met Aimee and Sara at In and Out Burger. He wasn’t doing well. His muscles weren’t working right. He kept cramping in his calves and shins. His fingers would close and he had to physically open up his hand. His eyelids went closed and he had to pull them open.